A Christmas Wish for my Readers

This Christmas season I feel especially grateful for some of the changes that have come about in this past year, in particular for my marriage to my loving husband. As a single woman, Christmas was always a big question mark on my calendar. A glaring reminder that I did not have a person or a place to call ‘home’. Each year I waited to see what invitations would roll in. My insecurity convincing me that maybe none would. But God is good and most years I even had the option to choose between at least two separate invites. While the unknown and the sense of not really belonging anywhere was hard, I am thankful for those Christmases spent with others that I otherwise never would have celebrated with. Most of them have become family to me just as much as my genetic family. And I have fond memories from each and every Christmas.

Even so, I am going to be honest and say that having my husband as my built-in ‘let’s celebrate Christmas together’ partner is a blessing I don’t take lightly. Its one that I prayed for and doubted would come. Because I am human and often struggle to trust God’s timing. But now that it’s here I plan to fully enjoy our first Christmas in our home, together.

While things my look different for me this year, I feel compelled to write about difficult Christmases past because I know that this year won’t be an easy one for everyone.

In my personal life, I know of friends and family who are experiencing a great many number of things that make this season hard: Job changes, being laid off, making a big move, losing a loved one, grieving a broken relationship, facing the reality of a family that is more fractured than ever after the stress of a pandemic. It can be hard to feel joy around the Christmas season when life is in fact far from being merry and bright.

And my first words to you, if this season feels hard and heavy, are ‘it’s okay.’ It really is okay to not feel merry. It is okay if you feel sad or angry or are grieving. We can bring these emotions to God regardless of the season. In fact, I feel sure that Joseph didn’t feel so very merry on the day of Jesus’ birth either. Imagine this newly married husband being forced to take his wife on a journey so close to her due date. Imagine the failure and shame he must have felt to not even be able to find a decent bed for her to sleep in. There was Joseph with a very pregnant Mary, asking her to sleep in a stable (and then to give birth there) because he could not provide anything more for her at that moment. Imagine the fear Mary must have felt. Knowing she would give birth in a dirty, smelly place. Not close to home and close to her mother. Not with the midwife that had perhaps attended the births of herself and her siblings and could coach her through the process. But alone with a man she only recently married, no clean linens are medical help to be found nearby. I know that Mary was a girl with a big faith because she accepted the Lord’s plan for her as soon as the angel brought her the news. But I can’t imagine her not feeling fear leading up to the birth of the Savior. If you feel fear, grief, or disappointment just know you are in good company. Both the company of those who lived in the past and many who are leaving right here with you in the present. And it doesn’t make you a grinch or a less-good Christian to feel those things.

Now that we’ve acknowledged that it’s okay to not be okay, I would also like to extend a warm invitation. However you may be feeling on this cold December day, I invite you to take a moment to look past all of the brightness and merrymaking. Beyond the presents you still have to buy, the dinner you are in charge of cooking, or the uncertainty of where you will be on December 25th. And look to Jesus. He is able to take all of your worries, all of your burdens. He is a safe place to voice the emotions in your heart and the questions in your head. And he is an infinite source of joy.

And perhaps the most beautiful thing about joy is that she can be present together with sadness. She is not scared away by hardships and doesn’t become shy when grief walks into the room. Joy is secure enough to coexist with other feelings and remain stable and calm herself.

And truly this is what Christmas is about. Maybe it is merry and bright! Maybe it is sad and full of difficult reminders. Either way, it is a good time to remember joy. Because Christ came with a promise. His presence on this earth as a baby and then as a man means that joy is ours now and forever. Because while this life may leave us beaten and bruised, the one to come will be different. It will be full and satisfying. It will not ask us to move houses or countries, to leave behind friends and family. It will not require us to walk in darkness, stumbling over the path we did not choose to walk but have to anyway. It will be full of light and love. And full of Jesus.

So whatever you are feeling this Christmas season, perhaps now is the time to trust in Him. To believe that he is able to come to Earth, to live as a perfect man, and to be the ultimate sacrifice. All so that when he comes again, we can be with him forever. And what greater joy is there than knowing that your Creator, the greatest Artist, and the ultimate Good is planning a life of joy for you that will last forever?