Living as a cross-cultural worker I often feel the tension of a life in constant transition. Work doesn’t look the same for me day to day or even month to month. Relationships begin and end as fellow ex-pats move back to the US or my place of service shifts. And often times it can feel like I am living my whole life looking towards the next change because nothing here is even remotely permanent. It’s a struggle I’ve always felt is particularly strong when you live in a different country and work a ministry-related job. But recently I realized that living with my head in the next season could easily be true if I were living in my home country and working a normal 9-5 as well.
It all happened thanks to an email from Belk: a department store chain that is fairly popular in my hometown. I still get their marketing emails because I shop there when I’m home for a visit and this particular email was all about summer! Summer clothes are here and they’re hot. But the first emotion that stirred in my heart was shock: how can it be summer already? I’m just now accepting the fact that it’s spring! These emails usually bring up a sense of excitement about looking ahead, but I’ve been working on living in the present, and this was a rare moment where I wanted to live in the present with little thought for the future.
I looked at the desk calendar sitting on the other side of my laptop screen. It was the middle of April. The early part of the middle of spring. I immediately felt relief as my mind consoled itself with the thought ‘You’ve still got plenty of spring left to do spring things.’ The reality of the moment was that this out-of-season marketing email offered me something that we are constantly receiving an invitation to: to leave the present for a fantasy version of the future. Summer according to Belk is the season of buying cute swimsuits, new shorts, and platform sandals that just happen to be 20% off on this rainy weekday in April. The idea is to get me thinking about what my summer could be like and to get me excited about what could be, what new outfits I could have, and what great offers I can find right now to help me live that future dream!
We all know about this tactic. We’ve all complained about why on earth there are Christmas decorations out at the store before we’ve eaten our Thanksgiving turkey. But I imagine we also have a season or event we look forward to each year. Maybe for you, it is summer, or your birthday, or October when the leaves start to change. And there is nothing wrong with looking forward to dates or seasons that bring us happiness. But maybe there is a problem when we fail to live in spring because we spend it thinking about summer. Maybe there is a problem when we always see contentment as achievable only in the next season of life but never in the one we are in. Because what actually happens when summer arrives? You bought the swimsuit but the pool is crowded and the sun is hot. You planned a family vacation but the kids are sick. Our next season never looks exactly like we imagined it would. It never looks like the department store ads or the Pinterest wall. In fact, our next season often looks a lot like the one we are already in. It’s imperfect. It brings challenges. And it comes with an invitation to look ahead to the next thing with the hope that it will be better.
While there are truly hard seasons that see relief when a new one comes, most of the time we don’t need summer to enjoy our lives. We just need contentment in our present circumstances. What does this season look like for you? And what are the things you looked forward to before this season that you can find contentment in now?
In my own life, I’m in a place of searching for close connections. I remember feeling lonely before I got married but finding comfort in having other single friends. Now that I am married I feel lonely less often, but the single friends I once saw regularly have moved on to other friendships and left me wondering when my new set of married friends will arrive. But it’s a good reminder for me as I reflect on the past to remember this: the time I look back on and see as good now, I saw as difficult then. And this present I am living in was the season I so longed to move into. So now is the time to enjoy it! To soak up the early years of marriage, to enjoy these weeks of just my husband and me. And firmly refuse the invitation to live in the next season, or in what my brain imagines it will be.
If you’ve been around the blog for a while, or even if you’ve just seen the name, you’ll know that I’ve written about living life ‘One Day at a Time’. Un día a la vez. And here is an invitation for you to join me in doing the same. Let’s leave behind the temptation to jump ahead to what’s next, and learn to love the moment (and the season) we are currently in together.
